Emily Nelson

Janice

January 4, 2004

Marlene drove her sparkling new Jetta slowly down Pine street, gawking at the massive houses being constructed. Some modern architect with too much money on his hands had recently bought Johnson's Trailer Park ("Cla- C Homes for Affordable Prices") and was building second homes for his close friends and family. Marlene gazed longingly at one of the massive frames. She had never seen a house that big! The frame could have easily housed every family that had ever lived in Johnson's Trailer Park, even in the park's prime. Marlene grimaced as she spotted her childhood home; the "Teal Steal," as her dad had dubbed it 40 years earlier when he bought it. It had long since ceased to be teal and was now a streaky sooty color. The architect had offered her mother, Janice, twenty times as much money for the property than than the family had originally paid. Marlene looked around before turning into the driveway and parked her Jetta behind the house. She lingered in the car, running her fingers along the edge of the steering wheel. Marlene glanced sideways at the "Teal Steal" and shook her head. Her mom would rather wait Œtill the earth swallowed up the trailer, and her with it, then move to another home. Every time she visited her mom, it seemed like the ground had gained another few inches.

Marlene put her hand on the car door and with a sudden and decided motion she opened the door and stepped out of the car. Her ears shrank back into her head as she heard an ear-splitting, "Boopie!," as Janice came hurriedly limping down the front steps with her arms out stretched.

"Please don't call me that∑" Marlene said through a painfully toothy smile as she walked over to greet Janice. She met her mom's embrace and hugged her quickly and tried to pull away from her but she held on, rocking her back and forth. She permitted herself a small sigh and a tiny eye roll to the back of the "Teal Steal" as the tiny lady nearly lifted her off the ground. Marlene gave Janice a few more courtesy pats on the back and then broke away from her stifling hold.

"It's great to see you, Mom," Marlene said in an unnaturally perky voice while straightening out her crinkled shirt. Janice shook her head in wonder, looking up lovingly at her daughter. Janice had a wrinkly face with thin, rosy pink lips. Her smile revealed a striped pattern of alternating pink lipstick and natural lip color where the wrinkles had blocked the color.

Suddenly, Janice gasped and covered her mouth. She took a step backwards and slowly and shakily exhaled. "Oh, my lands! What have you done to your long, beautiful hair?" Janice asked, touching a lock of Marlene's cropped hair, her lower lip trembling threateningly.

"Mom its okay. I just cut it. It will grow back, don't worry," Marlene said, justifying the lie by telling herself that her hair will grow, she will just keep trimming it.

Anxious to divert her mom's attention, Marlene brightly suggested, "Why don't I make a nice lunch for the two of us? How would you like that?-- Mom! Stop looking like I just betrayed you, or something. Okay. Come on, let's get something to eat." Marlene turned the doorknob while lifting and jiggling the trailer door until it swung open. Dust danced in the doorway as Marlene ducked inside. She blinked several times until her eyes adjusted to the dark trailer.

To her left, the living room looked exactly as it had for the past six years. It had always been Marlene's dad's room, filled with boxes of his old belongings, awards, birthday cards and letters. Ever since he died six years ago of a heart attack while watching a football game in that room, it had become a sort of shrine to him. Janice never used the television again and left his half empty "I hate mornings" coffee mug sitting on the side table. All that remained of the coffee was some crusty dark brown residue. Even the position of the T.V. guide Tom had carelessly tossed on top of a Woman's Day magazine had been immortalized.

Off the living room an open door showed that Marlene's old room had also remained untouched. Mounds of boxes labeled, "Marlene- 1 yr.," "Marlene- 2 yrs.," all the way up to "Marlene- 19 yrs. +," lined the walls of the room, and her bed was made up with her ti-dye bedspread. Janice's bedroom held her treasures as did the halls and a corner of the kitchen. She had more memorabilia than Marlene and Tom combined because she had saved things her whole life. A narrow path through the boxes allowed Janice to get into her bed and another small clearing permitted her to open her dresser drawers. On a cloudy day, one wouldn't know there was a window in the room, but today a vibrant ray of sunlight seeped into the dark room between a box of her childhood stuffed animals and a box of maternity clothes.

To Marlene's right, was the kitchen. Broken appliances, fabric scraps, butter tubs, suitcases, Marlene's old high chair, and boxes filled with other random items were in great mounds all over the kitchen floor. They surrounded the table and completely blocked some of the cupboards. The carnations she had given her mom five months ago were still being proudly displayed in a crystal vase on the kitchen table. Their petals were brown and crispy.

"Mom, these flowers are disgusting!" Marlene said, kicking aside a cardboard box full of records as she moved over to the table. She touched a carnation and all of its remaining petals fluttered to the table cloth.

"I just couldn't bring myself to throw them away," Janice murmured, "They reminded me of you."

"Oh, that's a great honor," Marlene said, rolling her eyes. "Well, I like them," Janice said firmly. "Mom. Please, that's ridiculous," Marlene said, exasperated. Then Janice gave her The Look. It was a look she had seen many times before. Like when she had tried to replace the old ratty floor rug that the dog had chewed into a lumpy, brown mass of yarn, or when she was eight-years-old and had asked if she could go sledding off the roof. Whenever Janice wanted her way without a fight, she would look up at her with those deep, disapproving eyes and purse her wrinkled sticky-pink lips into a thin line.

"Okay, I won't touch them," Marlene promised. The minute Marlene relented, Janice's icy face melted into a thousand tiny smile lines. "Well∑ let's see if we can figure out some lunch," Marlene said, crossing to the avocado refrigerator. She jerked open the sticky door sending a few photographs and magnets tumbling to the floor. Marlene exhaled sharply and with much control she gently moved the pictures out from under her using the tip of her black loafers.

"Oh, dear. Oh, dear." Janice muttered, lovingly picking up each of the pictures, one by one. Marlene was ignoring her, her head buried deep in the cool air that carried the odors of thirty years of leftovers. Janice was carefully rescuing the last picture that had slipped half-way under the refrigerator. She took the corner of her dress and wiped the dust bunnies off the black and white photo and examined it through her reading glasses. "Oh!" Janice squealed with delight, causing Marlene to jerk up, whacking her head on the inside of the refrigerator.

"Owww!" she screamed in frustrated pain. Through only partially open teeth she said, trying to be pleasant, "What is it, Mom?" Janice was absorbed in the picture and seemed to have forgotten that Marlene was even there. "What's the picture of, Mom?" Marlene repeated loudly and slowly.

"Look at it, Boopie," said Janice, holding the wrinkly picture out for her to see. The picture showed Marlene on her first day of fourth grade. She was wearing cat's eye glasses and an ugly grey jumper. Her hair had been in curlers the night before and was sticking out at odd, frizzy angles.

"Wow. I looked like a mini fifty year old," Marlene remarked, shaking her head and smiling.

"Oh, Boopie. You were cute!" Janice said sincerely. "Right. Anyways, what can we eat? There's not a whole lot in the fridge," said Marlene.

"Let me see," said Janice, looking in the refrigerator, "How Œbout some tomato soup and grilled cheese?"

"Sure," Marlene said, "sounds fine." "That used to be your favorite. You used to dip your little grilled cheese into your soup," Janice recalled with a dazed look.

"Yeah, I haven't had it for a while∑ Not since last time I visited you," Marlene said briskly, getting out the butter and cheese. "Oh boy∑ this is a piece of ancient history," Marlene said, examining the fuzzy piece of cheese. "Guess we better have something else for lunch."

"Oh, Boopie," Janice exclaimed. "Cheddar can't go bad, it only gets sharp. Just scrape off the bad parts and it'll be fine."

"Yeah∑ right, Mom. I think I'd be scraping off more cheese than I'd be leaving. Gross," she shuddered.

"Here, give me that," Janice said, taking the block of cheese. She began carefully cutting out the moldy spots.

"Okay," Marlene said doubtfully, shaking her head and picking up a piece of bread and a butter knife.

A little while later, Marlene and Janice were eating crunchy grilled cheese sandwiches and slurping hot tomato soup.

"It's always so sad to finish a good meal," Janice said, leaning back from the table.

"Mmm∑ Yeah, it was good," Marlene said. Janice flipped open the W section of her weekly pill box and swallowed the vitamins and pills inside, washing each down expertly with apple juice.

"Well," Marlene said, standing up, "I should be going soon. I have to meet a client at 4:00 in Georgetown."

"Oh," said Janice sadly, "That's too bad." Then, looking up, she said, "Do you have time to look at a photo album?"

Glancing at her watch, Marlene replied, "Sure, but we'll have to make it quick." Ever since Marlene's first visit home after she had moved into her college dorm, Janice had insisted on looking at a photo album when Marlene visited. She wanted to make sure that Marlene wouldn't forget her childhood. As they looked through the pictures, Janice would be reminded of stories. Sometimes it would take hours just to look at one album. Marlene sat on the edge of a kitchen chair while Janice rummaged through a box. She pulled out a dusty album, labeled "1967."

Janice pulled a chair up next to Marlene's and began to lovingly examine each picture through the pages. Marlene glanced anxiously at her watch and murmured agreements every so often. Five minutes later Marlene stood up, saying, "I really have to go Mom."

Janice looked crushed, then said, "Oh, that's too bad. I guess we can finish this album next time. Oh, wait, before you go, I have something I want to give you. I'll be back in a minute." Janice disappeared into her room and returned carrying her favorite china doll, Frances. She had an aged face, that was chipped in several places. Janice had been given the doll on her eighth birthday. Frances wore a faint, pink patterned dress and had a dazed look that had always frightened Marlene. There was something not quite right about her eyes.

"Mom, I can't take her. She's your favorite." "I want you to have her. Take her," Janice insisted, pushing Frances into Marlene's arms.

"Uh∑ Wow, thanks Mom. That's really nice of you." Marlene hugged Janice and said, "I'll see you soon." She pushed open the door and walked squinting into the sunlight.

"I love you, Boopie," Janice called, waving on the door step. "Love you too, Mom," Marlene said, getting into the car. "Bye!" Marlene tossed Frances on the passenger's seat of her car. Her head was flopped between her stiff legs and her china arms stuck straight out of either side of her body. Marlene backed out of the drive way easily and shifted sharply from reverse to drive. Frances flew onto the floor of the Jetta, landing with a crash.

Symbols Analysis

Through Janice, this story shows that it is impossible to live in the past. Janice is named after the two-faced Roman and Greek god, Janus, who is looking to the past and future at once. The character, Janice, attempts to carry the past into the future, but she cannot. The dead carnations Janice keeps in an effort to remember Marlene's past visit will never contain the same life and color that they once did, just as one can remember the past, but never truly relive the past. The coffee in Janice's late husband's coffee cup that was once a warm, delicious beverage, is now nothing but a dark brown residue. Janice attempts to preserve her health by taking vitamins and pills, but she cannot keep herself from dying. The moldy cheese also shows that life dies and time passes on, but Janice ignores this fact and salvages the part of the cheese. She is unwilling to acknowledge that time has spoiled the cheese and that it is no longer good.

Janice and Marlene view a good meal differently, just as they view life differently. Janice is only sorry that the meal has to end, but Marlene, who is not trying to preserve the past, can enjoy the meal. When Marlene opens the refrigerator, a few pictures, symbols of the past, fall off the door. Marlene pushes them aside and continues what she was doing while Janice rescues the pictures from under the refrigerator. Marlene feels no remorse in cutting her hair. She does not miss the hair she had in the past, but enjoys the short hair cut she has now. Janice is sad that Marlene looks different and that her long hair is gone.

While attempting to preserve the past, Janice becomes a prisoner of the past and misses out on much of the present. The "Teal Steal" represents the prison that the past has become to Janice. Although Janice could sell the trailer for twenty times the amount it had been purchased for, she clings to it, like she clings to the past. Everything that Janice has saved is weighing down the trailer just as Janice is weighed down by the past. The boxes filled with memorabilia block the daylight from many of the windows, just as the past is blocking out the present in Janice's life. Janice's efforts to preserve the past have put restrictions on the things she can do. She cannot use the living room because she wants to preserve the room as it was the day her husband died. Many of her cupboards are useless because boxes of things from the past are blocking the doors. Her house is dark because her memorabilia is blocking the light from the windows.

Janice has tried to tie Marlene to the past by collecting her old belongings and memorabilia, and by looking at a photo album each visit. Janice's last effort to make Marlene a prisoner of the past is to give her china doll, Frances, to Marlene. The doll breaks, symbolizing that Marlene will never be a slave to the past.